Watch me grow... Jonah at 5 months

Jonah's Birth Story... part 3

By 6:30 am, the contractions were right on top of each other and I was pretty sure my water had broken on its own.  I spent the next 30 minutes laboring pretty intensely until an anesthesiologist surprised us by walking in with my epidural. 

My emotions were very mixed at this point… I had mentally adjusted to the idea of delivering without the epidural so didn’t know how to feel about the unexpected possibility of getting pain relief.  But in the end, no one really asked me, so I just rolled with it.

Getting into position for the epidural was a challenge because my contractions were so intense and close together.  But I sat up, put my feet on a chair next to the bed and concentrated on following the anesthesiologist’s instructions.  Josh had been coaching me from the other side of the bed so he stood up and came around the bed to hold my hand during the continuing contractions and the epidural.  The doctor was instructing me to roll my back so he could insert the needle when suddenly Josh’s head was resting on my neck!  I thought it was a strange time for him to give me a love nuzzle, so I called out his name.  No response.  I said his name a second time, a little louder.  Josh had passed out.

The anesthesiologist recognized what was happening and called out, ‘Dad!  Dad!’ This alerted the nurse who roused Josh and managed to get him into the chair where my feet had been resting.  His proximity to the chair was fortunate as the nurse was tiny and had no home of supporting him had it been necessary.  He was only out for a second or two and in some ways it was a welcome distraction from my pain.  He had seen me get my epidural when our two other boys were born, so I was confident that was not why he fainted.  I asked him what had happened and he said he got light headed when he stood up and was pretty sure it was because he hadn’t eaten anything since the night before.  He stepped away from my side to get some food from his backpack and the nurse brought him a soda.

It was probably around 7:10 am at this point and the anesthesiologist was finishing taping the tubing to my back.  Suddenly, I felt a rush of fluid and intense urge to push.  This baby was coming NOW.  I yelled to the nurse and she instructed me to try to resist the urge (ha!) until the anesthesiologist could finish his work and they could move me on to my back from the sitting position.  She also told me to pretend like I was blowing out birthday candles… that this would somehow lessen my urge to push.  All that work on my epidural was for naught as there was no time for me to receive the anesthesia.

The room was in some degree of chaos.  Clearly I was progressing much faster than anyone expected.  My nurse called for my OB to come in as well as additional nurses to prepare the equipment for the baby.  I was concentrating so hard on breathing through the contractions and resisting pushing, I was only vaguely aware of the hub-bub until my favorite OB (Dr. M) from my practice walked in.  Turns out the doctors switched shifts at 7am, so Dr. A had left and Dr. M had arrived.  Hooray!

I remember frantically calling for Josh (who had been boosting his blood sugar with a snack) as they positioned me to push.  My focus was still on breathing through the contractions so it took everyone in the room to break through to me that I needed to HOLD my breath and push through the contractions.  When it finally registered what they wanted me to do, I started pushing.  Pushing was certainly not pain-free, but it was a different pain than the contractions.  I pushed though two contractions, maybe three, and Jonah Thomas Lauer entered the world with a healthy cry.

Jonah's Birth Story... Part 2

Early Monday morning, March 25^th, 2013

Sometime after 3am, Eli woke up and started crying.  I don’t really remember exactly what happened next, but Josh and I both eventually got out of bed to check on Eli and give him some Tylenol for his fever.  Initially, my contractions stayed around 15 minutes apart.  The more I moved around, however, the faster the contractions seem to come.  The intervals ranged from 6 minutes to 12 minutes, seemingly irregular, but slightly stronger than what I had experience throughout the night.  I updated Josh and told him I thought we might need to head to the hospital.

I started to organize and gather the bags I would need, but still didn’t believe that this was ‘it’.  Josh had disappeared into the living room and, when I went to look for him, I found him on his laptop taking care of some work-related emails.  Typical.  I paced for a little while until my intensifying contractions shook me out of my denial.

I called and woke up my friend Camille, who had graciously agreed to come over and stay with Eli if we had to go to the hospital in the middle of the night.  Still unwilling to pull the trigger, I told her I would text her in the next 15 minutes if I really needed her to come over.  It was no more than 5 minutes later that I texted her, ‘Come now!’ 

When Camille got to the house around 4:30am, she scolded us for not already being in the car.  I laughed and pointed to Josh finishing up some emails on the couch.  I also tried to tell her that I was probably in ‘false labor’ and would be sent home from the hospital… but was interrupted by a strong contraction that forced me to stop talking and take a few deep breaths. 

We got into the car and headed to St. Mary’s Hospital in Athens, about a 20-minute drive from our house in Watkinsville.  I could still talk through the contractions, but definitely grabbed the door handle until the peak of the contractions would pass.  I remember wishing that Josh would drive a little faster.  He told me later that he was trying to gauge my pain level/state of mind by my ability to maintain conversation… at this point my contractions were about 5-6 minutes apart. 

I found out when we registered in the emergency room that my least favorite OB (Dr. A) was on call.  She is completely competent, just is a ‘high talker.’ Hysterically, the woman who registered us could do a spot on impression of this doctor’s tendency to talk in a high voice.  I was able to laugh and joke at this point and felt a little silly being pushed in a wheel chair up to the labor and delivery unit. 

The nurses in the birth center directed us into triage.  It was probably around 5:30 am at this point and my contractions were getting considerably stronger.  As they started collecting my vitals, one of the nurses remarked that my blood pressure seemed high and asked if this had been a problem during my pregnancy.  It hadn’t and I was momentarily concerned as I had suffered from preeclampsia during my pregnancy with Noah. The high blood pressure, however, was explained when she checked my progress a few minutes later and discovered that I was already 7 centimeters dilated! 

The nurse asked if I planned on having an epidural.  When I told her ‘yes’, she commented that I was handing the contractions really well for someone who wasn’t planning on having a natural birth.  I took this as a compliment, but also reassured her that I had every intention of having an epidural.  They gave me the option of walking down to our room from triage or taking a wheel chair… I was debating, but Josh, after looking at his watch, encouraged me to take the wheel chair.  He had been keeping track of my contractions and accurately predicted that I was due for one in the middle of our trek to the new room. 

It was close to 6am by the time we got settled in our room and were delivered bad news about my expected epidural.  There were only two anesthesiologists in the hospital at that time.  One was involved with an emergency surgery in the ER.   The other was occupied with a woman who also arrived 7cm dilated but whose baby was breech and needed a c-section.  How could I argue with the priority of those two patients?  So the reality began to sink in that I may have to deliver without any drugs. 

The OB (Dr. A) came in to check on me and said I had progressed another centimeter or two.  When I lamented the lack of an epidural, she offered to break my water to speed up the process.  I was still holding out hope that I could get some relief, so declined her offer.

Josh kicked into coaching mode.  The contractions were coming fast and furious and I was unsure of my ability to handle the pain.  I kept telling the him and the nurses, ‘This isn’t how this was supposed to happen!’  But, as Josh reminded me, what choice did I have?  So I hunkered down and, with Josh’s encouragement, convinced myself that I could do it.  I asked him to text my friends from church and ask them to start praying!

Jonah's Birth Story... Part 1

Sunday evening, March 24^th, 2013

We spent much of the late afternoon at Camille and Aaron’s house, along with many of our friends from church, decorating Easter eggs.  I had stayed home from church that morning with Eli who had been running a low fever for the last few days.  I joked with friends in anticipation of the baby’s arrival, lamenting the fact that I probably would have to be induced again, and listening to various suggestions on how to encourage labor to begin. 

We returned home to eat dinner, which included some relatively spicy buffalo chicken dip.  Josh left for a meeting at the church office around 7:45pm at which point I put Eli in the bath and got him ready for bed.  While Eli was in the tub, I began having contractions that were slightly painful but nothing overwhelming.  I got him into bed and sat on the sofa watching TV for the rest of the evening.

By the time Josh got back to the house, I had started timing the contractions.  I began to entertain the idea that this might be the real deal.  They were steady at 15 minutes apart but not extremely painful so we decided to go to bed and get some rest.  Josh fell asleep relatively quickly.  I tried… and tried, but sleep eluded me as the contractions continued. 

Welcome to the world, Jonah Thomas!

Happy 3rd Birthday, Eli!

My little man is truly becoming a little man.  It is hard for me to realize how much he is changing when I see him every day.  

Which is why I am SO thankful I randomly decided to do the 'Watch Me Grow' pictures after he was born... because it allows me to take a step back and see this:

Really? How does this happen?  And how do I make it stop?

I really love the age Eli is at right now... he is fun and funny, he is starting to develop his own (sometimes very strong) opinions, and he is full of personality.

But I equally love that I get to re-experience those baby moments with baby bean due in March.  What a joy!

A God Moment

Throughout Noah's life and in the years since his death, there are many moments that I can point to when I tangibly felt the love of God.  These 'God moments' have become an integral part of our story and are the reason I believe my faith is intact.

In some ways, I consider Eli's entire life as a 'God moment'.  He has brought us immeasurable joy that eases the ache of grief in our hearts.

But yesterday stands out.

We were in Tuscaloosa for the Georgia volleyball match against Alabama.  Eli and I tagged along with the team to see friends and visit our old stomping grounds.  (And watch Georgia sweep Alabama in an awesome match!)

Josh and I took Eli to the cemetery to visit Noah's grave.  It had been a year since we had been there last.

Josh told Eli that we were going to visit Noah, so when we got out of the car he began looking for Noah.  

"Daddy, where is Noah?  I don't see Noah.  Where is he?"

His little toddler brain hasn't quite comprehended his brother's story yet.

I started choking up immediately because Eli has never really said Noah's name before.  There is something about hearing him say his brother's name that melted my heart.

We showed him the marker stone but he quickly became distracted by the flowers and decorations around some of the other graves in the children's garden.

Josh called him back over and asked for him to pray for us.  Eli's standard prayer goes something like this:  

'Thank you Jesus who lives in our hearts and loves us and loves us amen.'  

Yesterday, though, he threw us a curve ball.

His prayer started the same way as usual.  His little voice was steady:
Thank you Jesus who lives in our hearts...

But then he started to sing.
He started to sing a song I had never taught him or heard him sing before.
He sang:
God our Father, God our Father
we give thanks, we give thanks

I don't even really know how he ended the prayer because I was too overwhelmed by the moment.

God had used our sweet, energetic soon-to-be three year old to remind us once again that He loves us.  That He was there with us at Noah's grave.  That He had blessed us more than we could have ever asked for or imagined.

For the record, I think Eli learned that song in his class at Community Bible Study. And I will give each of his teachers a big hug on Thursday morning for that gift.

A new addition

Not sure if I have any readers left... but if you are still out there, here is the latest news from the Lauer family:

God willing, baby bean will arrive at the end of March.  We couldn't be more excited!